1)Lights at Miyagaseko
2) Smores on Xmas eve
3) Diminishing Bridge on Christmas
4) Making Russian Teaccakes On xmas eve
I have an almost inexpressible disdain for holidays. Christmas in particular causes me pain on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. The reasons are numerous but I shant bore you with an extended elaboration… Tell me this; for what damn reason do I need tell my kids about Santa? I won’t and when I tell people that, they look at me as though I just ran over their dog….Moving on, moving.
The reason for this diary is, even though I am a miserable grouchy s.o.b. who is a cultural iconoclast, my family need not have to put up with me grimacing at every ornament I spot in a store window. Chie and Kiko need traditions. It builds bonds and deepens relationships. Chie is being very generous and says I can swerve around the blood boiling X-mas garbage and rather setup some traditions of my own.
The problem is, how does a man who hates the season make new traditions? What can I do? I thought about making some kind of new holiday (George Costanza Festivus style)but I encountered two problems; 1) I am not that creative and 2) No way will a new weird out of nowhere tradition be sustainable. “Daddy why are having a party on February 3rd for no reason? Shut up Kiko and play the traditional February 3rd tire flipping game.”
So, having decided not to reinvent the wheel, I was left with my only option, to steal tolerable elements and shape them into my own thing.
My new December 25th celebration wil include 4 elements to be described below. Notice I did not say X-mas. I will call it December 25th. My family may call it what they wish, but in my mind Christmas has died and in its place has come “Great-Wonderful-Exciting December 25th Celebration Day” GWED25 for short. No, I have not fully committed to that name. Ladies feel free to critique, but I promise you I really do hate this holiday so any mention of rheindeer will be sumarily ignored.
First, there is a Japanesey Christmas village setup in the mountains close to our home in a town called Miyagaseko. Now this Christmas village has many elements that I would normally hate but it is quirky enough to be fun. The lights are pretty, they have food stands serving hot chocolate and lots of food. You can walk around for an hour in the cold drink hot chocolate and have a generally nice time with your family. So, our tradition will include a visit to Miyagaseko at some point in December. The only difficulty with this part of my tradition is that we can’t continue it if move. Hopefully I can find something similar in our future location
Secondly, cookie making. I love these little cookies called Russian teacakes. Any tradition should include these cookies. I am thinking that on December 24th (a.k.a. GWED25 eve), we as a family can make a barrell full of these cookies and then hammer ’em down on December 25th. The whole cookie making thing will be great with Kiko and future little Duncans. The only problem here is that these things are 90% butter and thus will make me fat.
Thirdly, On the evening of December 24th, at night a little before bed after having made cookies, I will start a fire (God save us) and we will make smores. This tradition element is similar to the previous because it involves cookies. Some would say this lame but I say “Bite Me. It’s my tradition”. Any tradition that involves children fire and sugar is a sure fire recipe for success and happiness.
Fourthly and finally, December 25th will arrive and on that day we can play diminishing bridge as a family with my parents in the U.S. online (Yes, this can be done while eating Russian Teac cakes). Growing up, one of my favorite memories is playing the Dimminishing Bridge card game with my family. Playnig this game wasn’t limited to Christmas. Whenever a large group of my family got together we would play. I found a site that will host my little game. I wanted to find an element that involved the grandparents and I think this is a good way to do it.
Ladies, what say you?
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mag says
like!
think i’ll also give a shot at learning DB — never heard of it before today!
Andy says
Great game. It does however, cause people to swear profusely so be forewarned.
theperfectnose says
I say there may be men reading this blog. XD Thanks for another hilarious post (lots of classics here, children+sugar+fire=awesome) and hope you all enjoy it & survive it everything intact. I sh*t you not one of the department stores here started with the ‘holiday’ reminder stuff back in early September.. I generally have presents for b’days and holidays months before hand but it’s only because I’m obsessive like that. Similar feelings to you on the whole holiday schmazzle. Will be avoiding the crazy sugar hopped crowds at all costs XD
Andy says
Glad you got a chuckle out of it. There is an Elmo saves x-mas and thanks to Kiko I have watched it many times. Elmo wishes x-mas happened everyday. By day 127 the Sesame Street crew is lighting santas ablaze. I hope they make the holiday season earlier and earlier that will be how they inadvertently kill it. Keep your head down and toss out the occasional “happy kwanza” just to keep people guessing.
Ginger says
HAAHAHA! Hilarious! OK… I’m a total Christmas junkie. I just LOVE it. But. I can see how you might want to dropkick someone after hearing “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” for the 38th time! But yeah, the commercialism is pretty yucky, so I try to make special gifts for people instead of just buying garbage. Although really I spend about 90% of my Christmas present search energy trying to find a completely tacky/crazy/cheesy gift for my brother-in-law.
I say go for it! Kiko will remember your little traditions when she’s a grownup and they’ll be so special since they’re unique!
Andy says
Making stuff for people or having a a cool tradition with the brudda-in-law is great. I wish that was everybody’s way of enjoying December 25th.
Emily says
Good luck on new traditions! I know the commercialism of the holiday can get depressing, but I still love Christmas anyway. ^___^ Our family also never did the Santa thing (or the Easter Bunny, or the toothfairy!). I guess my parents didn’t want to lie to us for their own amusement, plus, they wanted these religious holidays to focus more on our religion than the presents and candy! Or maybe they just wanted the credit for buying all that stuff!
Andy says
No tooth fairy! You poor deprived child. We should bring your parents up on charges.
Emily says
We still got candy, money, and presents but we knew it was coming from mom and dad!
Melissa says
Absolutely LOVE this post! “Tire Flipping Game” – PURE AWESOMENESS – LOL! We don’t do holidays, either. We have traditional camping trips, amusement park days, stuff like that…stress-free fun! We also never got on board with the Santa thing…but we had to tell our kids “Don’t tell other kids that Santa isn’t real, or their parents are going to get MAD.” – haha! You guys have a great time with whatever you do!!! =D
Andy says
Did you wee ones abide by the rule? Santa has yet to come to Japan so Kiko can be a myth buster in peace here.
Melissa says
Haha! No, actually they did tell a couple of their cousins…but their cousins didn’t believe them. We got some dirty looks from their parents, though :-P. Also, every time a store cashier or someone says to them “Are you excited about Santa?”, they just look at them like their stupid and say “Santa isn’t real.” – HA!
Lindsay says
Haha! That’s the exact way I’ve always felt about Valentine’s Day. My husband and I actually had a talk about it last year and he wants to do something, whereas I loathe the holiday. So we settled on cooking a fancy-ish meal together, drinking wine and watching a horror movie. It was pretty fun.
I love Christmas tough. My favorite tradition has always been my family stocking throwdown. My mother always puts some sort of silly string, or nerf guns, or glitter filled eggs, or whatever else her evil mind thinks of next. After all the presents are opened and food is eaten, we have the annual throwdown on the front lawn. I’m sure the neighbors think we are insane, but it’s always fun. And the annual smack talk begins right after thanksgiving.
Andy says
I really like Christmas violence. I am thinking of absorbing that and making a version of it for the Duncan’s. the neighbors here already think I’m certifiable so this should be nothing unexpected.
Katrina Blanchalle says
I say yes! Traditions should be treasured and maintained only when they make you happy. So many people seem to continue them simply “for the children” or the grandparents, or someone else, all the while feeling imprisoned in some sort of unhappy nightmare.
You will have a great time building new traditions, and Kiko will have the most wonderful holidays!
Andy says
Amen! The “for the children” line makes me laugh. The vast majority of the planet lacks Santa but are not emotionally scarred. Enjoy your plans over the next few weeks.
Kathya says
All i am saying even the grumpiest grinch eventually becomes softer when his children grow up and sweetly ask for more “Christmasy” things.
My brother in law is/was one big Grinch (like hardcore kind of grinch), and it felt like a miracle when he let Christmas lights one year. His kid grew one year older and he allowed a Christmas Tree in the HOUSE!!!! (GASP!!!!!)
I think it stopped there, no Santa which we don’t do at our place either but There is HOPE!!!
Merry 25th! ^_^