Hello! Hope everyone had a nice Forth of July vacation:) I had a day off, so Kiko and I went to a zoo in Tokyo with my high school friend and her daughter. More pictures of the zoo next week..
But, as the title says, I’m feeling like I face different challenges as Kiko develops and matures. As soon as one challenge is conquered, another one comes! I feel like Kiko is hitting “terrible two’s” stage already even though she is still 14 months old. I read in Baby Center that some kids can start this delightful process early. Kiko wants to do many things on her own. For instance, she wants to walk on her own without anyone holding her hand, particularly on busy streets. This is perfect because we live on an intersection of two busy streets and I’m terrified that she will get run over by a car!
Adding to her knew found self exaltation in the terrible two stage, if something something happens that she does not like, she picked up the habit of sitting on the ground and crying. I’ve spent the past couple of days being frustrated with her because of this.
I’ve also had it reported to me by my mom that when she and Kiko went to a community center (where there are toys and a play ground), she dominated the slide like a little tyrant. She did not let the other kids play on the slide…Sigh. I wish I were there to beat that out of her, but alas I was not. How do you teach kids to share?
The photos above are from a recent visit to my parents – we hung out, ate my mom’s delicious meals, played the piano and played with bubbles 🙂 Those days were “Terrible Two-less” thankfully. At this point I need all of those days I can get.
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Maria says
Hi Chie, I totally understand you. My daugther is 20 months old and i think she started the “terrible two’s” since she was 12 months old!. It is dificult to handle that indepence they want because they are not capable to do lots of the things they pretend they can. My daugther let grandad and grandma take her hand when she is on the street, but not from us. We just ask her for three times if she still is not giving us the hand, we just carry her for a while and explain her the situation of danger. ofcourse we have a big tamtrum, but at the end we know a little bit what is best for her.
About sharing, the other day talking with a mom in a toddler group, she told me that kids only understand the sharing when they are 4 years old!!! what we do is try to explain her again that you need to share…in the hope that some day she will share. Lots of luck with these “terrible two’s” and hope you have lots of days with less “terrible two’s” behavior.
Chie says
Hi Maria! Relieved to know I’m not the only one with 1 year old w terrible two! This week is better than last week. She was more corporative with holding hands when walking. I think it’s because she understands what I’m talking about better now – I know it’s funny to say her listening has improved in a week, but it feels that way! I explained to her that it is a busy street and I have to hold her hand to walk together. 🙂
Arellis Pena says
I have been reading some books on Montessori since I as pregnant with my twins. I think I remember reading that young children are not selfish in the way that we think, but that they are very self-centered as a way to help them concentrate and learn. I ovbiously tell my 2yr olds to share and model sharing for them and my husband has taught them to trade toys or take turns. Of course they are 2 so a lot of the times it doen’t work and sometimes we get tantrums (fun, especially in public :)). It is easier to not get so frustrated knowing that part of the not wanting to share has to do with their development. Also, I find that redirecting them to something else works awell for me. The twins started sharing more easilyright before their second Bday. Sorry for the long post, just wanted to share what has helped us, though it might be different for them because they have always been used to having each other taking “their” toy.
Chie says
Hello! Thank you for your advice! It is a good reminder that this process is a sign of her development. When I’m in the midst of angry mode, I tend to forget that.. This week she has been better, less crying and less whining. So thank God for a little break from early terrible two 🙂 xoxo
zhing says
oh its so hard to believe that kiko misbehaves! she looks like such an angel whenever i see her pictures! hope you have a lovely summer and kiko gives you an easier time in the coming days! xx
Chie says
Oh Zhing, wait till you see her, she is not an angel unfortunately… This week she has been good for the most part though! Thank God!
Kathya says
I particularly, don’t believe in “beatings” per say… but, like someone mentioned, they are not selfish but we cant also encourage for them to “take over the slide”. we use a lot of REDIRECTING in our household.
We have 3 girls and i am a stay at home mom, so while in my watch i don’t allow my girls to take over anything, especially when we are supposed to share. I also dont encourage it, so when the child doesn’t want to allow other children play with the same toy, i take it away (because i am assuming she has played with it long enough) and bring her to a different spot and find something else fun to do.
Also, when on the street, i dont allow my children to be “in charge”. I tend to be “child led” for sort parent everywhere else, BUT parking lots and streets, “i am in charge of the safety”. that is not negotiable.
When one of my girls, doesn’t want to hold my hand on the street, i hold theirs on purpose(i dont want them to run away and get hit by a car) and their immediate reaction is to not want walk, but i WAIT. Yes! we do not move until the child gets on her feet and walks by herself(i am assuming the kid already walks). They tend to cry because they didn’t get their way and they might fuss BUT their safety is more important than their need to be the “adventurous”. If i only had one child, i would probably carry her if waiting doesn’t work, but i have THREE!, my reality is way different.
Good Luck with the new challenges… being a parent is a hard work BUT very rewarding at the end. 🙂
Chie says
Hi Kathya, thanks so much for your advice! Three girls! It must be fun but a lot of work. What are their ages? When Kiko just sits on the ground, I just pick her up and carry her..instead of waiting, because I don’t want her to get run over by a car! We live near a quite busy street. xo
Kathya says
My girls are Faith (5), Luciana (2.5) and Catalina (1).
I would say Lulu is the one that gives me more work but after so much practice, she does not sit on the street and whines anymore. She knows i am being very serious so she listens.
We try to stay away from busy street, hang out at parks and beaches and some other community grounds so i dont have to deal with danger. But the parking lots are always scary, to me.
Just be consistent. Once out of danger, on a safe spot, get down on her level while she is standing(so she feels comfortable) and talk to her very serious. Explain to her how dangerous is it. They understand more than what we think they do.
This phase will pass. I promise. just be consistent. 🙂