Andy why the vulgarity? I’ll tell you! This is directed at no one here in particular. But, I am quite sick of receiving parenting advice. Recently, Chie and I were subjected to the torture of receiving advice from a woman we met for the first time. The nature of the conversation was irritating in and of itself (bullying of multiracial children in Japan, a topic which I will explore more next time), but to add insult to injury this woman went on to give a good 30 minutes worth of useless unsolicited parenting advice. She then topped it off by telling us how wrong we were and smiling in anticipation of our “someday realizing it”, when both we and our daughter are miserable. Go Screw lady!
Advice on parenting is a tricky thing. On one level people both want to receive it and give it. Every parent has an opinion and every parent thinks they are correct. But, even the best and most confident parents like new ideas and all appreciate helpful tidbits. Chie a while ago was turned on to giving Kiko a nap while out and about by putting her in the carrier as opposed leaving her in the stroller. It was brilliant advice and worked like a charm! But, we were friends and she told us this in a way that wasn’t advice as much as just talking about what she herself does. Generally however, nobody wants your stupid condescending unrequested guide to parenting. I don’t care at all what pop psychology “wisdom” you stole from Dr. Phil and are now trying to pass of as your own, nor am I interested in hearing all things that you see that I am doing wrong. I am certainly not interested in seeing you smile gleefully as you contemplate my misery because I’ve rejected your advice. Again I repeat, Go Screw!
I’m sure I’ve broken my own rule and given unsolicited wisdom but I’ve tried as conscientiously as possible to minimize it. I can allow for some pointers as long as you seem genuinely interested in my betterment. But when you give advice just to prove your brilliance and greatness…Go Screw!
Here’s some unsolicited advice for ya’ll: unless you’re asked and I mean really asked for advice, shut up and keep it to yourself. Unless you see some poor parent at wits end making some obvious mistake that can be easily resolved…shut up.
Advice, training, support and guidance are wonderful and necessary for everyone but as a tangential friend or especially a new acquaintance, stuff your pearls of wisdom deep deep down until begged by someone to reveal your treasure trove of parenting knowledge.
Next time you get unwanted parenting advice, give them a retort worthy of their effort “Go Screw!” you can tell them Andy sent you.
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