I meant to post Mommy’s Diary yesterday, but I was too exhausted to write anything. I went out to fabric shopping in Nippori with my friend who is a soon to be bride. The trip turned out to be really successful, and I am so glad we got everything we needed for her wedding dress! We got the fabrics, notions and even a dress cover. I’m so excited to do this, and will update with more details of the process of wedding dress making as it gets underway.
Kiko seems to have realized that she has voice and she is trying to omit different sounds. I have no idea what she is saying, but she coos and woos, and then look at me as if I’m supposed to understand:) She also seems to have come to a realization that she has hands. She grabs different things and eats her own fists. Not sure if they taste good.
The other week, I wrote that I was going to write about postpartum weight issue sometime. I gained 10kg through out my pregnancy, and lost 8kg within a week after delivery. I did not do anything special to lose 8kg – obviously I could not exercise at that point. I didn’t change my eating habits or anything like that. I really did nothing and I was relieved that the weight came off so easily. After that first weight drop I expected the rest would come off just as easily and I would be at my pre-pregnancy within a months time. that was not to be. I was sadly wrong. Two months passed and I was still 2kg heavier than I was before Miss Kiko. I began to get really frustrated. So I decided to workout harder, and count calories. I aimed for 1800kcal per day with some kind of work out everyday. I did that for about two weeks, and got on scale only to see that the needle had not moved. It just did not make sense! How can I workout so hard and eat less, but not see results on the scale? This made me really miserable. Sometimes I would work out twice a day so thinking that a 5km run will cancel out 300kcal ice cream that I wanted to eat. I began to hate life! Exercising is one of my hobbies, but I realized I made it a chore.
After thinking about this for a few days, I decided to forget about the whole diet thing. It was not worth it! Of course I want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I made the whole process miserable. I love working out, and I should not be thinking , “If I do this, I can eat a bowl of cereal without guilt and gaining weight” while on treadmill. It takes the joy out of working out.
Honestly, the weight issue hit me harder than I expected. I would look at my stretched-out belly and be sad. I thought my fat belly would disappear right after I popped out Kiko. Am I the only one who felt that way?
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Laura Wilson says
Your body just went through a majorly traumatic process. Give it and yourself time to adjust. Even if you don’t lose the weight, it may move around a bit so it’s not so noticeable. I felt like the whole having a baby thing was a 2-year process to get back to where I was feeling normal. Good luck and enjoy your baby. It gets better. Mine is about to turn 5. I just found your blog through icandy and I’m looking forward to reading more about your projects. Have a good weekend!
Chie says
hi laura, thank you for visiting me from icandy! and i know that my body changed over a period of 9 months while i was pregnant, and i should cut myself some slack, but sometimes i could not help but think about what i looked like before i got pregnant!
anyway, i am enjoying my baby – love being a mom! its amazing how quickly she grows and changes, and im sure mine will tune 5 so soon!
Ai says
hi chie, you are not alone 😀 i am with you. after i finished breastfeeding my second child i gained some weights and worry too much about getting big. So now, i don’t think much about it instead enjoy what i am eating and be with myself. It will take time exactly. Good thing though hubby always giving me inspiration not to worry and just indulge myself to whatever things makes me happy. Enjoy motherhood anyway.
Chie says
hi ai, thank you! i heard that some women gain weight after finish breastfeeding. i guess because the body is not burning extra 500 calories that it used to, to produce milk.
glad to hear that your hubby makes you happy! xo
Vicki says
I second that comment: 2kg is nothing, considering you just had another person living inside you! If you work too hard to get back to some self-determined number of Kg, you’ll reduce your milk supply and then your baby will lose out! I don’t think anyone in your life will care or notice if you are 2kg bigger or smaller, but they will notice if you are tired and unhappy!
I tried to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight after my first baby, but then I realized that it was making me unhappy and it was easier to adjust my thinking than adjust my body! 😉 I think that women in general, and mothers in particular, put more stress on ourselves than others do. (I am drafting a post about it right now)
Relax and enjoy the infant stage of little Kiko. My “baby” turned 2 and I don’t know where the time went. I didn’t take enough photos and videos!
xo Vicki
Chie says
hi vicki! im interested in reading your post!
i should relax about weight, and i think im getting better. the life is so much more enjoyable if you are not counting calories! lol
Hana K. says
I definitely know how you feel, at times I still feel that way and wonder if I’ll ever go back to my previous size or way I used to look but it’s not priority and my husband & son make me feel beautiful the way I am.
It took you 9 months to put on that weight and the weight you’re holding onto right now is all for the baby while breastfeeding so don’t feel too stressed out by it. Trust your body to know what it needs right now 🙂
We have gone through pregnancy and birthing: beautiful, amazing experiences that changed our lives, why wouldn’t it change our bodies?
Chie says
aww im so with you! so great that you have a wonderful husband who loves you.
you know, don’t you think its so ironic that a comment like, “oh, you don’t look like a mom at all!” is supposed to be a compliment? it should not be a compliment!
Lisa says
I actually think you look fabulously slim! I would never have guessed you just had a baby by looking at you. My stomach never went back to the way it was, but I have 2 awesome kids because of it. “Scars of motherhood” I call it.
Chie says
hi lisa! aww thank you! i might hide the weight well with clothes, but my belly is still flooby! *sad*
Amber H says
I don’t know what 2 kilos are compared to pounds, but keep in mind if you are breastfeeding, your breasts will be larger. It’s actually very surprising to realize how much breast tissue actually weighs. So, some of that weight may be from the increased breast tissue that’s producing milk.
Don’t feel bad though, losing 80% of the weight gained from your pregnancy is great! I’m sure that you’ll be able to knock those last 2 kilos out soon enough.
Chie says
hi amber, 2 kilos is equivalent to 3-4 pounds i think. i know its not that much, but i feel like i experienced such a change in body and life over the pregnancy and the birth of the baby, i want to hold on to something that i used to have, by that i mean my pre-pregnancy weight..
but im trying not to worry. i hid my scale so i won’t be checking my weight every minute!
Av says
I absolutely understand what you meant by “… i feel like i experienced such a change in body and life over the pregnancy and the birth of the baby, i want to hold on to something that i used to have…”. I was frustrated for a long time because I wanted to return to who I was before the pregnancy – the individual that I knew I was. I tried to fit into pre-preg clothes, get back into the routines which I had, had a battle with my hair etc.
After a while, I realised that I was no longer the person that I was – before the pregnancy and before the delivery. The pregnancy and motherhood in general had changed me and I was no longer the same person as before. Losing my old self doesn’t mean that I am lost. Contrary, it means that I had evolved and moved on. All I need to learn now is to enjoy who I am TODAY.
jen says
If you are a breastfeeding mother you probably have that extra 2kg of weight hiding in your breasts alone!!! I swear each breast feels at least a kg bigger when you become a milking machine! So don’t stress 🙂 Also, the more she feeds as the older she grows you will probably find it a lot easier to loose weight, give it a couple of more months! xx jen
Chie says
milk machine! lol. i truly feel like that at times!!
Av says
The last 2 kgs are the hardest to be rid of. My weight slid off like water from oil… until the last 2 kgs. And like you, I was miserable about it. I worked hard, ate less and did everything that I could to drop the weight but the scales just won’t budge!
After feeling miserable for the past 2 years, I realised that perhaps I should just embrace the new number. Much easier to deal with the number if I accepted the fact that I had a baby and I should cut myself some slack. Some younger girls and teenagers do not even have a body like yours (or mine). I am now at a place where I think it is okay to be 2kg heavier. I managed to slip back into my old jeans and even the shoes are starting to fit again. Magically the scales is still showing 2kg excess but I am no longer controlled by the number.
I am sure that this is a process that all mothers endure. You will figure the weight issue out in the coming months 🙂
Chie says
hi Av, i know the last two kilos are the hardest to take off! i remember some moms talking about not being able to lose their last 2-3 kilos, and i wasnt sure why before i experienced it first hand.
thank you for the encouragement, its comforting to know that you’ve felt the same way as i am!
Paunnet says
I’m so sorry that you got discouraged, because I think you look really great, especially considering that you gave birth so recently. That being said, I know what it means not to be satisfied with your own body, so I understand you. I’m happy to read that you became more relaxed about these 2 extra kilos and I hope you can keep on this route, eating and working out in a healthy way.
Zoe says
Chie, whilst you are still breastfeeding you should stop worrying about your weight. I am currently pregnant with my 4th (I know, I can’t believe it either) but fir each of the other three I was the same as you- most of the weight gained during pregnancy went almost immediately leaving me 2kg which never went until I stopped feeding-it then disappeared easily so don’t worry. Another thing, if you workout more and more you are likely to build more muscle which weighs more too. As for your tummy it will go back to as it was before -it just takes a few months. Enjoy being a mummy and although I know it is easier said than done, don”t stress the weight thing and have those ice creams if you want them!
Chie says
hi zoe! glad to know there is a hope for losing the last 2kg after i finish breastfeeding! and i love ice creams too much..and this hot humid weather in japan now, it is almost inevitable!!
Tess says
It took me 10 months to lose all the weight, even then, the shape is kinda different. If you are breastfeeding, don’t worry about the weight, it will come off eventually. You need some fats for the milk!
Emily says
Kiko is SO cute!! I don’t know how I lost your blog. Blah. Anyway, I totally felt/feel the same way after having Ansley. Even if I had lost all of the weight, I’m sure my body is different. I just have to accept it. PS you look great!!!!
Chie says
thank you emily!
Kathya says
Some people say, “it takes 9 months to grow a baby, it should about 9 months to go back to normal.”
When you are nursing you body will automatically hold onto some weight so produce good milk. It is not a rule for all women as many do go back to pregnancy weight but most women hold onto to more than just 2 kilos.
i am 4 1/2 months post partum, i am nursing 2 babies and i am still 10 pounds overweight.
For the flabby belly. Do you think you might have Diastiasis Recti? i do, so my muscles don’t hold my skin as well as they should. trying to fix it by exercising.
GOOD LUCK!