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Daddy’s Diary 8: Go Screw

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Andy why the vulgarity? I’ll tell you! This is directed at no one here in particular. But, I am quite sick of receiving parenting advice. Recently, Chie and I were subjected to the torture of receiving advice from a woman we met for the first time. The nature of the conversation was irritating in and of itself (bullying of multiracial children in Japan, a topic which I will explore more next time), but to add insult to injury this woman went on to give a good 30 minutes worth of useless unsolicited parenting advice. She then topped it off by telling us how wrong we were and smiling in anticipation of our “someday realizing it”, when both we and our daughter are miserable. Go Screw lady!

Advice on parenting is a tricky thing. On one level people both want to receive it and give it. Every parent has an opinion and every parent thinks they are correct. But, even the best and most confident parents like new ideas and all appreciate helpful tidbits. Chie a while ago was turned on to giving Kiko a nap while out and about by putting her in the carrier as opposed leaving her in the stroller. It was brilliant advice and worked like a charm! But, we were friends and she told us this in a way that wasn’t advice as much as just talking about what she herself does. Generally however, nobody wants your stupid condescending unrequested guide to parenting. I don’t care at all what pop psychology “wisdom” you stole from Dr. Phil and are now trying to pass of as your own, nor am I interested in hearing all things that you see that I am doing wrong. I am certainly not interested in seeing you smile gleefully as you contemplate my misery because I’ve rejected your advice. Again I repeat, Go Screw!

I’m sure I’ve broken my own rule and given unsolicited wisdom but I’ve tried as conscientiously as possible to minimize it. I can allow for some pointers as long as you seem genuinely interested in my betterment. But when you give advice just to prove your brilliance and greatness…Go Screw!

Here’s some unsolicited advice for ya’ll: unless you’re asked and I mean really asked for advice, shut up and keep it to yourself. Unless you see some poor parent at wits end making some obvious mistake that can be easily resolved…shut up.

Advice, training, support and guidance are wonderful and necessary for everyone but as a tangential  friend or especially a new acquaintance, stuff your pearls of wisdom deep deep down until begged by someone to reveal your treasure trove of parenting knowledge.

Next time you get unwanted parenting advice, give them a retort worthy of their effort “Go Screw!” you can tell them Andy sent you.

Related posts:
Daddy’s Diary 7: The More The Merrier!?!?
Daddy’s Diary 6: A Year That Felt Like a Day
Mommy’s Diary 32 (Daddy’s Diary 5)
Mommy’s Diary 29 (Daddy’s Diary 4)
Mommy’s Diary 22 (Daddy’s Diary 3)
Mommy’s Diary (Daddy’s Diary 2) 14
Mommy’s (Daddy’s) diary7

Mommy’s Diary 49

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Hello everyone, I’m back! I’m so happy to be back to be with my family. It was a quick trip, just two nights. I arrived in Beijing late at night and left there very early in the morning. Still, it felt long and I kept looking at the pictures of Kiko and Andy on the plane and missed them even before the wheels left the ground.

Kiko was with my parents while I was away and seemed to have enjoyed her time with her grandparents.

Kiko is a year and two weeks old, and here are this week’s up and downs in parenting..

UP
– She can blow kisses!
– She can also kiss me on the cheek ! It is so sweet. At first I wasn’t sure what she was trying to do. She came up to me with her mouth open, with a lot of drool, and I thought she was trying to bite off my nose or something. After about five minutes I finally figured out that she was trying to give me a kiss. She seemed happy that I finally got it:)
– Walking more, loves to practice walking and getting praise!
– We bought her some washable crayons that she can use on bathroom tile.  I think she is enjoying her bath time more with these!

DOWN
– She only obeys one parent…. she listens to Andy better than me. I’m not sure why, but it seems that Andy is the bigger authority figure in her mind. I don’t mind her listening to her father, but I’m not sure what I am doing (or not doing) that makes me someone to be ignored. Any thoughts? Andy is of the opinion that he does more “beating” than me. He does the feedings generally (usually involves a beating), and has a fair amount of one on one time with her during his days off, which I guess, involves many beatings. Whatever he has done his voice and frown get immediate compliance whereas my voice and looks of displeasure get met with laughter and a smile.

Creative Family

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While going through some photos from last week, I found these. While I was making the evening gown I talked about here, my husband, Andy was making something too. He is not a creative type by nature (more like a meat head type hehe!), so I was kinda impressed.

He was making a book for Kiko. He even wrote a story too! That pig picture looks like a balloon!

Andy cut out thick paper in piggy shape and added story to it. Now it is waiting to be illustrated by my little sister, and laminated, so Kiko won’t destroy the book. Andy and I both worked on some creative projects this week…what are you working on? 🙂